I am a 19 year old girl. Clearly I have millions of things to learn, millions of milestones ahead of me. Fortunately, God has gifted me with such a level headed mind which makes me different from most girls around me, he has gifted me with more common sense than is normal, meaning I have had the self control to resist certain material things, like boys and drugs and millions of bad influences that young adults face, I mean I wont be a teen mom, shouldn't that deserve a prize? Unfortunately, it doesn't. In fact nothing I have ever done in my life has granted me a prize of any sort. I can't say I've been the worst, but I haven't been the best, there's not a moment in my life where I have come out first and I only have myself to blame, because I live in constant fear, fear of being hated, fear of being rejected, fear of failing, to simply put it I'm that person every inspirational poster advises you not to be.
When I was in high school I made a huge, well huge to me, choice of joining the schools drama department, for the first time In my life I stepped out of my comfort level and left all my friends behind to pursue something I would later grow to love. The result was the experience of a lifetime, memories I will always cherish, and a self confidence I carry with me all my days, but even then I didn't give my all. I began attending church a little after I graduated high school and once again my life was completely changed, I gained a relationship with Christ I never knew I could have, and it was no coincidence that every day has been pieced together for me to end up right here and right now in this moment.
A few weeks back I was surrounded by a lot of negative thoughts, I doubted every move I made, I doubted my self as a student, as a daughter, as a girlfriend and as a follower of Christ. I found myself being sad about my current life situation, I found no ending to this stage and I felt completely stuck in, what I thought to be, a sucky life. I was angry at the people I loved and found all the bad things in every situation. God being the incredible God he is has a funny way of calling me out, he speaks to me through my church in such a crazy way. Last week my pastors started a series titled "Greatness is Where You Are" and let me just say he couldn't get more personalized than that. I have a hard time thinking I'm great I'll go ahead and say it, and because of that I have had a hard time doing great things. I learned that the way we perceive ourselves is a reflection on how we perceive God. Well, I believe God is without explanation greater than anything I will ever know, so if I was made by such greatness why don't I believe that I've inherited the same? My pastors went on to explaining the right way to spell faith is R.I.S.K. If you know me you know that that word is not in my vocabulary. I'm very calculated and I like planning everything out. Rational, over-thought, and safe our better words to describe myself. So here I'm left, God single handedly called me out one by one, told me my current style of living will not do, told me I'm capable of far better things.
So this is me forgetting of all the moments I have let go without fully taking advantage of. I may not have been great in the past but I can start new today, for the first time in my life, because of Christ I have come out first. This is me accepting that I am great, right now in this moment I have all the tools to succeed. At school, at work, as a daughter, as a girlfriend and as a follower of Christ. God has placed certain people and certain circumstances in my path that are great assets to this new life style. I'm only 19 my current situation will not last long, so why should I mope and complain when I can make the most and do great things in this moment. Greatness is where I am it's time for me to start being great.
